When I first came to Converse, I had no idea what to expect.I went from being homeschooled and being in a really calm academic environment to a “real” school (which seemed huge to me).I thought that I would have a lot to do, but that it was all music courses and I would love every second.I was so excited to be in a place where everyone loves music as much as me.I couldn’t wait to be surrounded by incredible musicians to look up to. I thought I would, with all of the performance opportunities, overcome my performance anxiety like*snaps fingers* THAT. If I only knew then what I knew now....
First of all, performance anxiety takes a LONG TIME to get rid of.You’ll think that you have finally conquered that little voice in your head, and then, right before your juries or a recital, you’re shaking and almost blacking out.My performance anxiety was (and still is) fairly bad.I seem poised and confident to other people, but I guess I'm good at putting out a good front. I am a mess before I have to perform.I used to just hope and pray that I would get through my piece without forgetting; I don’t do that anymore.I make sure I memorize my pieces extremely well weeks before I have to perform them.Confidence is the key to helping with jitters.If you are totally confident in your knowledge of the piece, even if you forget, you have somewhere to go and you don’t have to sit (or stand) there trying to figure out what comes next.If you know that you can save yourself, a lot of the anxiety will dissipate.
I learned that you need to write down all homework that's due.Sometimes the homework is in the syllabus, sometimes it isn’t.Make sure that you keep up with what you need to do every day and double check everything before you go to bed.I make sure I look through all of my work so if there’s something missing, I can do it and not worry about it the next morning.Homework is very important, so make sure it ALL gets done.You can’t afford to be getting zeros for late homework if you are have scholarships.
I also learned that I need to dance.I need it.I have tried every single stress relieving technique out there and nothing ever calms me down like dance does.My senior year of high school was really stressful and that the only thing that truly took my mind off of everything in my life was dancing. I would have a bad day, but I knew I would be going to the studio that night. The pain of my pointe shoes would block out the day.I knew I had to give it up, but I thought I would be too busy to miss it too much and that I could cope in other ways.I was wrong.I missed it every single day.I missed the release and how it made me feel afterward.It took a while, but once midterms started and things started getting hectic, I started to lose it.I went to Zumba, but since it was only once a week, it was a temporary fix.I needed something daily.So…..I went on YouTube.I looked up dance routines and did watered down versions in my room when my roommate wasn’t around.I did my crunches and stretches every night.I watched my dance recital DVDs when my homework was done and I had NOTHING to do*those moments were rare*.It wasn’t the same, but it took my mind off of myself for a few minutes.
I thought it was almost impossible to be an amazing musician and not be stuck up. I have met so many musicians who could make your jaw drop, but they had such big egos, I couldn’t bear to be in the same room with them.I thought that at Converse it would be the same way. Again, I was wrong.Some of the most humble musicians I have ever met have been at this school.They will always tell you that they believe in you, no matter how bad you may have embarrassed yourself.They are so supportive in whatever decisions you make concerning your music or your life.It’s always blown me away to see someone joking around and acting silly, yet walk onstage and perform a masterpiece.Converse made me realize that musicians are ALL human. We are ALL people, just with amazing abilities.Those abilities don’t make you a stuck up, it’s your attitude.And I am so proud that at this school, the majority of the musicians are wonderful people with wonderful attitudes.
My advice to freshman….that’s easy.Get your work done before the night it’s due.Practice during the day in between classes.If I have an hour or two in between classes, I go practice.Any spare moment you have during the day should be devoted to practicing.A few days of missed practice are noticeable in lessons and your teacher will ask you about it.:)We ARE music students, we don’t have a lot of time to relax, but relaxation is necessary. You need to find time to do something fun, even if it’s for a few minutes.If you can keep your sanity, there’s no reason why you can't continue with your major.
Hello. I think you did a really good job with your blog. you were good about telling the "freshman" abou what they have to do, but you did it in a way that makes the work not seem so bad. You did you speech in a way that made it seem like college isn't so scary.
ReplyDeleteGood job!
I LOVED your blog Natalie!! If I were a prospective student, and you told me that, my mind would be made up right then that I would come here. You inspired me just now too. I want to go to the practice rooms right now...but this obviously isn't spare time since I am doing my homework. Awesome blogging. There is this funky line in between two of your words on the second line. I don't know if it is just a glitch, but it messed with my eyes for a second. Anyways, great job!
ReplyDeleteI seriously can't imagine having to come from homeschooling to college. I often wondered about people who did that and wondered how they would acclimate. You seem to be doing just as well, if not better, than most people who came from a traditional high school.
ReplyDeleteWhoo! :D
Some good thoughts, Natalie. And some ideas for you:
ReplyDeleteIf you really do love dance that much, you shouldn't give it up. Sign up for a dance class, or join the dance ensemble, or something like that. It's true--for many folks, you just need to move your body.
As to the performance anxiety, you're right--there is no quick fix. But there a number of books out there that can help you get a bit further on the road. "The Inner Game of Music" and "A Soprano on her Head" are two books that we have in the library that specifically address performance anxiety. I'm also fond of Madeleine L'Engle's "Walking on Water" and Anne Lamott's "Bird by Bird"--they aren't specifically about performance anxiety, but many of the concepts those authors discuss help get you into a different mindset. Oh, and the Tao of Pooh.
Finally, make sure you put spaces after each period.