When I first came to Converse, I had no idea what to expect.I went from being homeschooled and being in a really calm academic environment to a “real” school (which seemed huge to me).I thought that I would have a lot to do, but that it was all music courses and I would love every second.I was so excited to be in a place where everyone loves music as much as me.I couldn’t wait to be surrounded by incredible musicians to look up to. I thought I would, with all of the performance opportunities, overcome my performance anxiety like*snaps fingers* THAT. If I only knew then what I knew now....
First of all, performance anxiety takes a LONG TIME to get rid of.You’ll think that you have finally conquered that little voice in your head, and then, right before your juries or a recital, you’re shaking and almost blacking out.My performance anxiety was (and still is) fairly bad.I seem poised and confident to other people, but I guess I'm good at putting out a good front. I am a mess before I have to perform.I used to just hope and pray that I would get through my piece without forgetting; I don’t do that anymore.I make sure I memorize my pieces extremely well weeks before I have to perform them.Confidence is the key to helping with jitters.If you are totally confident in your knowledge of the piece, even if you forget, you have somewhere to go and you don’t have to sit (or stand) there trying to figure out what comes next.If you know that you can save yourself, a lot of the anxiety will dissipate.
I learned that you need to write down all homework that's due.Sometimes the homework is in the syllabus, sometimes it isn’t.Make sure that you keep up with what you need to do every day and double check everything before you go to bed.I make sure I look through all of my work so if there’s something missing, I can do it and not worry about it the next morning.Homework is very important, so make sure it ALL gets done.You can’t afford to be getting zeros for late homework if you are have scholarships.
I also learned that I need to dance.I need it.I have tried every single stress relieving technique out there and nothing ever calms me down like dance does.My senior year of high school was really stressful and that the only thing that truly took my mind off of everything in my life was dancing. I would have a bad day, but I knew I would be going to the studio that night. The pain of my pointe shoes would block out the day.I knew I had to give it up, but I thought I would be too busy to miss it too much and that I could cope in other ways.I was wrong.I missed it every single day.I missed the release and how it made me feel afterward.It took a while, but once midterms started and things started getting hectic, I started to lose it.I went to Zumba, but since it was only once a week, it was a temporary fix.I needed something daily.So…..I went on YouTube.I looked up dance routines and did watered down versions in my room when my roommate wasn’t around.I did my crunches and stretches every night.I watched my dance recital DVDs when my homework was done and I had NOTHING to do*those moments were rare*.It wasn’t the same, but it took my mind off of myself for a few minutes.
I thought it was almost impossible to be an amazing musician and not be stuck up. I have met so many musicians who could make your jaw drop, but they had such big egos, I couldn’t bear to be in the same room with them.I thought that at Converse it would be the same way. Again, I was wrong.Some of the most humble musicians I have ever met have been at this school.They will always tell you that they believe in you, no matter how bad you may have embarrassed yourself.They are so supportive in whatever decisions you make concerning your music or your life.It’s always blown me away to see someone joking around and acting silly, yet walk onstage and perform a masterpiece.Converse made me realize that musicians are ALL human. We are ALL people, just with amazing abilities.Those abilities don’t make you a stuck up, it’s your attitude.And I am so proud that at this school, the majority of the musicians are wonderful people with wonderful attitudes.
My advice to freshman….that’s easy.Get your work done before the night it’s due.Practice during the day in between classes.If I have an hour or two in between classes, I go practice.Any spare moment you have during the day should be devoted to practicing.A few days of missed practice are noticeable in lessons and your teacher will ask you about it.:)We ARE music students, we don’t have a lot of time to relax, but relaxation is necessary. You need to find time to do something fun, even if it’s for a few minutes.If you can keep your sanity, there’s no reason why you can't continue with your major.
