Goodnight little girls. Thank the Lord you are well.

"In an old house in Paris, that was covered in vines lived twelve little girls in two straight lines."

That, for you who did not have much of a childhood, was from the book Madeline. Originally, I wanted to do a little story book based off of Madeline. Unfortunately, I have no artistic skills whatsoever, so I nixed that idea and went for a poem instead. I love really cute poetry like in Madeline, and Dr. Seuss, so it seemed like a good fit. I am not a very experienced writer, but I thought "Hey, I'll give it a shot!"

Before I came to Converse, I thought I knew about music. I do know about music, just not as much as I thought. Everything that I thought about music has changed in both good and bad ways. I learned that asking questions is good, and you won't be looked down on for asking. I learned that I can have friends. I've learned that music is even harder than I thought it was. I've learned that music can be even more ridiculously fun than I thought it ever could be. Every second of every day, I'm thinking about music. I'm analyzing every song, every melody I hear. In short, I'm becoming a music freak.

By the time I graduate, I hope I'm better musician. I hope my performance skills are greatly improved, with both my singing and my playing. I hope that I learn to just let things go and I realize that God has a plan and that whatever it is; it will all work out someday.



"And that's all that there is. There isn't anymore."



In an old little house that was covered with bricks
lived a girl and her piano, which made her quite sick.
Practicing was boring, recitals were scary
And nothing could make her think the contrary.
Until one day she met a composer named Haydn,
Needless to say she was sort of excited.
She learned the sonata by the end of the week.
And it started her thinking,
A future in music may not be so bleak.
Soooooooo
She came to Converse to study piano and singing.
She thought her knowledge of music was huge,
Until she was asked which instrument was a bassoon.
What's counterpoint? Voice leading? A C major seven?
She thought she would die and go straight up to heaven.
She had a lot to learn, and was helped by her friends
Who played violin, cello, flute, and French horn
And there's plenty of singers, thought that's kind of the norm.
They helped her with Italian, nerves, and theory.
And after a lot of hard work, she could understand clearly.
Theory is difficult, of that there's no doubt,
Understanding takes a while, so it's useless to pout.
Italian is exciting and nerves are plain dumb, the one things that matters is just having fun.
As she looked to her future she had one thing to say,
"Although music is hard, I'll do it anyway.
 I'll create the next Netrebko and Callas,
 And hopefully I'll be in Europe, not Dallas.
I'll play the piano all day and be in operas at night
But my name won't be the one sparkling in lights.
And that's ok because, when it comes to performing
I'd rather be backstage helping till morning.
But, till then, if I'm needed, I'm in room 221
Practicing scales, which are now kinda fun."

You want to go jump in a FOUNTAIN at MIDNIGHT?????

The traditions here at Converse are so much fun: Big Sis Little Sis, fountain hopping, 1889 week, the fabulous Halloween recital….I can go on and on. It’s so awesome to talk to alumnae and hear about their experiences with the same traditions here. Being connected to generations of Connies through these traditions is a feeling that I will cherish forever.

My favorite tradition (besides Big Sis Little Sis) is one that is unique to the piano majors: Dr. Weeks takes us to Carowinds! AND SCarowinds when October rolls around. No one would ever believe that the man sitting calmly in the first car of the Intimidator was this brilliant piano professor and musician. Carowinds is great fun by itself, but going with the piano studio is just a blast. Dr. Weeks is willing to go on any ride (except for the WindSeeker), loves DippinDots, and will tell you funny life stories to take your mind off the fact that your phone flew out of your back pocket on the NightHawk. You can’t ask for a cooler piano professor. ‘Nuff Said.

My new Converse tradition is really simple, kind of lame even. It ,of course, involves my favorite thing in the world: FOOD.

 I think we should have chicken wings every Friday. I know Gee has wing night every month, but that’s just not often enough for me. I am a total carnivore, so any time I can get delicious protein in the dining hall, I am all over it.  Converse, to my knowledge, doesn’t have a food based tradition, so I think having wings every Friday would be a wonderful way to start off the weekend.

When I grow up in a year or two or three....

 

 

 

 

 

  The first thing I thought of when I saw this week’s blog topic (besides WHAT? I have NO IDEA what I am going to do with my life! How am I supposed to write about THAT?) was one of my pointe dances from 3 years ago.  We did a Dr. Seuss themed number and I was a blue creature called an iota.  I had on the hugest fluffiest tutu you EVER saw and my hair was in these pigtails with bits of it wrapped in pipe cleaners.  Anywho, we danced to a compilation of songs and one of them was this really pretty instrumental version of “Rainbow Connection”.  And that is the first thing I thought of when I saw this: me in a big fluffy tutu and bright blue bejeweled pointe shoes.

   My dream career since FOREVER has been…..to be a secret agent.  When I was in second grade,that was all I talked about.  Shannon and I used to play spies during recess at school and spy on all the kids in the other grades.  It was so much fun.  I still would love to be a spy more than anything, but since I have found music and how much I love it, I think( and hope) I found my true calling.

   I want to be an opera singer.  And a voice professor.  And an opera coach. In the Vienna Opera house.  The newest opera divas will be my creation and I will be in the first row, watching proudly at their premiere.  I’ll speak 5 languages fluently and be the queen of proper diction.  I’ll marry a baritone with a voice that would give you shivers every time he opened his mouth.  I’ll make so much money that when my 18 year old wants a Maserati for her graduation present, it will be sitting out there in the driveway with a huge bow on top of it.  After about 15 years, I’ll come back to the states and be a voice professor and vocal coach at a conservatory.  I will live out the rest of my days as a singer, piano teacher, voice professor, voice coach; anything that has to do with SINGING.  And that will be my life. 

   Ok, that was my ultimate life right there.  I am pretty much guaranteed that that will never happen, but hey, I can daydream.  One thing is for certain though: I will be at least one of those three things.  I can really see myself as a vocal coach and voice professor.  I have imagined many times walking down the hall of some big name conservatory listening to all the incredible musicians inside their practice rooms.  I can see myself in an office giving lessons and onstage at master classes helping high schoolers and college kids with their Mozart and Rossini.  Every time I even think of doing that as my job, I get excited.  Every time I work with a coach, I feel like I’m meant to be a coach too.  The pure happiness that my music brings me can’t just be a coincidence.  It HAS to mean something. 

  Advantages?  I would be doing what I love.  I would be completely immersed in the world of opera.  Not only would I be performing, but I would be helping other musicians reach their fullest potential.  That is what I would love about being an opera coach and a professor.  I do love performing, once I get over my initial anxiety.  But I would almost rather be the teacher of the amazing new soprano than the amazing new soprano herself.  I would rather sit and watch my students perform knowing that in the headlines the next morning, I wouldn’t be on the front page, but I would be getting 10 new students within the next day.  I would rather be known as the one who made that singer great.  You don’t get as much recognition from the press, but you get personal happiness with knowing that you created a fabulous instrument in your students. 

   Disadvantages?  There are many, namely one: job security.  You may be good, but there are a lot of people out there that are great.  Being good generally isn’t good enough.  You have to be great if you want to make a living.  That is the one thing that I struggle with on a daily basis, an hourly basis even.  I know that I’m a good musician.  I know that I could be a piano teacher or teach voice, but what I want to do is of a higher caliber.  I want to teach in a college setting.  Being in a college setting requires an extremely high level of knowledge and an even higher level of ability and experience.  Music is an EXTREMELY competitive world.  If you aren’t good enough or screw up one too many times, you will be replaced.  Your reputation is tarnished forever.  It will be harder to find jobs.  Then you better hope and pray that your husband can support you and your family as you try to find somewhere that will hire you.   That’s what I worry about.  I may be the best that I can be, but my best may not be good enough. 

   Well, I think I got the first step down. I’m in college studying music.  I’m majoring in voice (which I know I will continue with in grad school) and piano (which I will also continue with in grad school, although probably with accompanying instead of performance.  I really wish Converse had an accompanying degree, because I would be an accompanying major in a HEARTBEAT).  I’m going to work as hard as I absolutely can to graduate with both performance degrees.  I am trying to stay sane through all of this, and that is about all I can do for now, besides practice more. J 

Dear Class of 2018,

When I first came to Converse, I had no idea what to expect.I went from being homeschooled and being in a really calm academic environment to a “real” school (which seemed huge to me).I thought that I would have a lot to do, but that it was all music courses and I would love every second.I was so excited to be in a place where everyone loves music as much as me.I couldn’t wait to be surrounded by incredible musicians to look up to. I thought I would, with all of the performance opportunities, overcome my performance anxiety like*snaps fingers* THAT. If I only knew then what I knew now....

First of all, performance anxiety takes a LONG TIME to get rid of.You’ll think that you have finally conquered that little voice in your head, and then, right before your juries or a recital, you’re shaking and almost blacking out.My performance anxiety was (and still is) fairly bad.I seem poised and confident to other people, but I guess I'm good at putting out a good front. I am a mess before I have to perform.I used to just hope and pray that I would get through my piece without forgetting; I don’t do that anymore.I make sure I memorize my pieces extremely well weeks before I have to perform them.Confidence is the key to helping with jitters.If you are totally confident in your knowledge of the piece, even if you forget, you have somewhere to go and you don’t have to sit (or stand) there trying to figure out what comes next.If you know that you can save yourself, a lot of the anxiety will dissipate.

I learned that you need to write down all homework that's due.Sometimes the homework is in the syllabus, sometimes it isn’t.Make sure that you keep up with what you need to do every day and double check everything before you go to bed.I make sure I look through all of my work so if there’s something missing, I can do it and not worry about it the next morning.Homework is very important, so make sure it ALL gets done.You can’t afford to be getting zeros for late homework if you are have scholarships.

I also learned that I need to dance.I need it.I have tried every single stress relieving technique out there and nothing ever calms me down like dance does.My senior year of high school was really stressful and that the only thing that truly took my mind off of everything in my life was dancing. I would have a bad day, but I knew I would be going to the studio that night. The pain of my pointe shoes would block out the day.I knew I had to give it up, but I thought I would be too busy to miss it too much and that I could cope in other ways.I was wrong.I missed it every single day.I missed the release and how it made me feel afterward.It took a while, but once midterms started and things started getting hectic, I started to lose it.I went to Zumba, but since it was only once a week, it was a temporary fix.I needed something daily.So…..I went on YouTube.I looked up dance routines and did watered down versions in my room when my roommate wasn’t around.I did my crunches and stretches every night.I watched my dance recital DVDs when my homework was done and I had NOTHING to do*those moments were rare*.It wasn’t the same, but it took my mind off of myself for a few minutes.

I thought it was almost impossible to be an amazing musician and not be stuck up. I have met so many musicians who could make your jaw drop, but they had such big egos, I couldn’t bear to be in the same room with them.I thought that at Converse it would be the same way. Again, I was wrong.Some of the most humble musicians I have ever met have been at this school.They will always tell you that they believe in you, no matter how bad you may have embarrassed yourself.They are so supportive in whatever decisions you make concerning your music or your life.It’s always blown me away to see someone joking around and acting silly, yet walk onstage and perform a masterpiece.Converse made me realize that musicians are ALL human. We are ALL people, just with amazing abilities.Those abilities don’t make you a stuck up, it’s your attitude.And I am so proud that at this school, the majority of the musicians are wonderful people with wonderful attitudes.

My advice to freshman….that’s easy.Get your work done before the night it’s due.Practice during the day in between classes.If I have an hour or two in between classes, I go practice.Any spare moment you have during the day should be devoted to practicing.A few days of missed practice are noticeable in lessons and your teacher will ask you about it.:)We ARE music students, we don’t have a lot of time to relax, but relaxation is necessary. You need to find time to do something fun, even if it’s for a few minutes.If you can keep your sanity, there’s no reason why you can't continue with your major.

Tick Tock

   Time management was never something I really had to worry about when I was in high school.  I did my schoolwork and practiced my two hours a day. Afterwards, I  went to my music lessons and dance classes and that was it.  I didn’t have deadlines for papers and homework or have to worry about a huge test.  I always had plenty of time to finish all of my work.  Then I came here…and oh my gosh, talk about a shock to the system!  I suddenly have homework in every subject that’s due TOMORROW (or the next day).  I have to squeeze in practicing between classes that go until 5 pm.  I have to not not NOT eat six Gee cookies in a vain attempt to relax.  I know I’m going to have trouble juggling everything I need to do, but I’m determined to make it through this year. 

   My problem is motivation.  I’ll admit it: I AM SUPER LAZY!!! I know. I know.  “Every time I see Natalie, she’s practicing or studying!”  I do spend most of my day practicing or studying, but it’s really hard for me to convince myself to actually DO it.  Thinking about practicing makes me inwardly groan when I have a piece that I’m bored with because I know it well.  Thinking about practicing a piece that’s extremely hard and frustrating also causes dread.  Honestly, my motivation in those situations is the fear of failure and disappointing others.  I may not really want to go work on my Rachmaninoff, but I get so scared of doing badly in my lesson or not performing well at a competition, I practice anyway.  I may space out halfway through, but when that happens, I go do handstands and get myself focused again.  While the practicing is not fun when the pieces are frustrating or boring, performing them well makes it all worth it. 

   My advice to others regarding practicing is three words: JUST DO IT!  You got into Petrie!  You obviously love music or else you wouldn’t BE here!  You are given wonderful opportunities with amazing professors!  Don’t throw all of that away by slacking off and wasting time.  Just get your practicing done (even if you have to force yourself), finish your homework, and know Tonal Harmony backwards in your sleep.  You may miss out on something fun tonight, but tomorrow when you nail your audition, you won’t feel badly about not going.  If you truly need music in your life in order to feel complete, then you’ll never have regrets.

My mom is a nurse, my dad is a scientist, and both have always told me that while college isn’t necessary to be successful and happy in life, an education is an invaluable thing. Life is a wonderful teacher, but unfortunately it doesn’t give piano and voice lessons. Once I knew that I definitely wanted to do music, I knew I needed a college atmosphere to better myself as a musician.

I always knew I would go to college, but I never thought I would eventually go to an all-women’s college. When my piano teacher, Camille, asked me if I would consider coming to Converse, I said, “ No WAY! It’s so expensive and it’s only girls!!” I knew how much she loved her alma mater, though, so I started looking into it anyway. I researched the scholarships and found that they offer a lot more academic scholarship money than other colleges and that the Bachelor of Music degree that I wanted would require almost all music classes, which I loved. When I came to visit the campus in October of 2011, I immediately fell in love. I marveled at the sheer beauty and almost quaintness of the campus throughout the tour. I loved the brick sidewalks and the hammocks. And as soon as I walked up the stairs of Blackman, I knew I was home. I said to myself, ”I could totally imagine walking up these stairs everyday.” When I came home, I was determined to get in. I raised my SAT score, I practiced the piano till my arms were numb, worked on my vocal technique and was accepted into Petrie.

When I was younger, I thought of music majors and music prodigies as the same thing. It never occurred to me that that wasn’t true. In my sophomore year of high school, my teachers started asking if I was going to major in music. I decided that it would be a definite long shot, but I would certainly try. The more I studied the more classical and operatic pieces, I realized how much I really love music. You may also be wondering how if I love music so much, why I appear to hate Bach(AKA my blog's name). Quite the contrary. I think Bach is an amazing composer and an absolute genius. He also wrote some of the most difficult pieces to master and memorize. I have lost many a scholarship, competition and a place in the top 5 pianists in South Carolina because of memory slips on his pieces. I enjoy playing his work, just with the music in front of me. My music also causes a lot of stress and frustration and in those moments, I think that I’m wrong. Could something that causes me this much grief possibly be what God wants me to do with my life? Getting that difficult passage in that one difficult piece takes hours and weeks of effort, practicing and freaking out. But the feeling I get when I DO finally play it with the fingering right, up to tempo and it’s so beautiful you could scream, is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. The feeling lasts a second, but in that one moment, I know that I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. The literal blood, literal sweat and buckets of tears I’ve cried over my music are all worth it in that split second. Anything that makes your soul feel like it’s flying can’t be all that bad.

 

If there were a drama queen muppet, it would be me. Not a mean drama queen; an I-have-so-much-to-do-and-I-have-no-idea-how-life-will-go-on-if-something-gets-screwed-up kind of drama queen. I could just imagine a neon blue, curly furred muppet with glasses…that would be me! She would do anything for anyone and expect nothing back, be an adrenaline junkie and as energetic as a rabbit on a serious sugar high, AND play the pipe organ as well as the banjo.