The first thing I thought of when I saw this week’s blog
topic (besides WHAT? I have NO IDEA what I am going to do with my life! How am
I supposed to write about THAT?) was one of my pointe dances from 3 years
ago. We did a Dr. Seuss themed number
and I was a blue creature called an iota.
I had on the hugest fluffiest tutu you EVER saw and my hair was in these
pigtails with bits of it wrapped in pipe cleaners. Anywho, we danced to a compilation of songs
and one of them was this really pretty instrumental version of “Rainbow
Connection”. And that is the first thing
I thought of when I saw this: me in a big fluffy tutu and bright blue bejeweled
pointe shoes.
My dream career since FOREVER has been…..to be a secret
agent. When I was in second grade,that
was all I talked about. Shannon and I
used to play spies during recess at school and spy on all the kids in the other
grades. It was so much fun. I still would love to be a spy more than
anything, but since I have found music and how much I love it, I think( and
hope) I found my true calling.
I want to be an
opera singer. And a voice professor. And an opera coach. In the Vienna Opera
house. The newest opera divas will be my
creation and I will be in the first row, watching proudly at their
premiere. I’ll speak 5 languages
fluently and be the queen of proper diction.
I’ll marry a baritone with a voice that would give you shivers every
time he opened his mouth. I’ll make so
much money that when my 18 year old wants a Maserati for her graduation
present, it will be sitting out there in the driveway with a huge bow on top of
it. After about 15 years, I’ll come back
to the states and be a voice professor and vocal coach at a conservatory. I will live out the rest of my days as a
singer, piano teacher, voice professor, voice coach; anything that has to do
with SINGING. And that will be my
life.
Ok, that was my ultimate life right there. I am pretty much guaranteed that that will
never happen, but hey, I can daydream. One
thing is for certain though: I will be at least one of those three things. I can really see myself as a vocal coach and
voice professor. I have imagined many
times walking down the hall of some big name conservatory listening to all the
incredible musicians inside their practice rooms. I can see myself in an office giving lessons
and onstage at master classes helping high schoolers and college kids with
their Mozart and Rossini. Every time I
even think of doing that as my job, I get excited. Every time I work with a coach, I feel like I’m
meant to be a coach too. The pure
happiness that my music brings me can’t just be a coincidence. It HAS to mean something.
Advantages? I would
be doing what I love. I would be
completely immersed in the world of opera.
Not only would I be performing, but I would be helping other musicians
reach their fullest potential. That is
what I would love about being an opera coach and a professor. I do love performing, once I get over my
initial anxiety. But I would almost
rather be the teacher of the amazing new soprano than the amazing new soprano
herself. I would rather sit and watch my
students perform knowing that in the headlines the next morning, I wouldn’t be
on the front page, but I would be getting 10 new students within the next
day. I would rather be known as the one
who made that singer great. You don’t
get as much recognition from the press, but you get personal happiness with
knowing that you created a fabulous instrument in your students.
Disadvantages? There
are many, namely one: job security. You
may be good, but there are a lot of people out there that are great. Being good generally isn’t good enough. You have to be great if you want to make a
living. That is the one thing that I
struggle with on a daily basis, an hourly basis even. I know that I’m a good musician. I know that I could be a piano teacher or
teach voice, but what I want to do is of a higher caliber. I want to teach in a college setting. Being in a college setting requires an extremely
high level of knowledge and an even higher level of ability and experience. Music is an EXTREMELY competitive world. If you aren’t good enough or screw up one too
many times, you will be replaced. Your
reputation is tarnished forever. It will
be harder to find jobs. Then you better
hope and pray that your husband can support you and your family as you try to
find somewhere that will hire you. That’s
what I worry about. I may be the best
that I can be, but my best may not be good enough.
Well, I think I got the first step down. I’m in college
studying music. I’m majoring in voice (which
I know I will continue with in grad school) and piano (which I will also
continue with in grad school, although probably with accompanying instead of
performance. I really wish Converse had
an accompanying degree, because I would be an accompanying major in a
HEARTBEAT). I’m going to work as hard as
I absolutely can to graduate with both performance degrees. I am trying to stay sane through all of this,
and that is about all I can do for now, besides practice more. J
